three miracles

Allen and I feel like the way we received each of our three children was a miracle. Each of them came to us in a different way. I feel like I need to write my feelings about this for them to read someday.

Carter: After almost 3 years of many tears, many prayers, many doctor visits, and many forms of medications we were blessed with Carter. We found out the day after Christmas while visiting family in Knoxville for the holidays. We went to the Dr. to get a blood test but they also had me do a urine test. As I was walking up to check out and give the number they could call with the blood test results the Dr. stopped me and said "you're pregnant". I immediately started to shake and explain all the reasons I couldn't be pregnant-all the reasons my Dr. in Memphis had told me month after month. But he assured me that I indeed was. I can still remember walking out to Allen in the waiting room. I was in shock and had tears in my eyes. Allen said that when he saw my face he thought I was told once again that I was not pregnant and he was preparing himself to comfort me. Then I told him the news and we embraced and cried tears of joy.

Jared: After being blessed with Carter we decided that we would not put ourselves through the emotional roller coaster of infertility until Allen was done with school. Then one day, as 16 month old Carter and I were running errands, I felt nauseous and went through a drive through and grabbed something to eat and felt better. It felt a little too familiar. I went home and put Carter down for a nap and took a home test. I vividly remember looking at it as two lines appeared, something I had only dreamed about happening so many other times. I walked out of my bathroom and fell to my knees at my bed and gave a prayer of thanks. When Allen came home that night, I had Carter hand him a note that said, "mommy is pregnant". And Allen said, "how?" I still don't know "how" it happened as I had been told many times that my problem was that I did not ovulate on my own.

Claire: Due to back problems I was born with and back/hip problems I developed with my pregnancies I was told by my Dr. that another pregnancy would not be advised. Neither would having to take care of an infant. I mourned this for a day or two. Then turned to adoption, something Allen and I had discussed during our time before Carter and felt very good about. We looked toward international adoption because it fit the criteria of not having a newborn. I spent months researching it and all the countries and their different processes. We initially didn't feel a pull towards any one country. China was a good match for us because of travel time, qualifications, baby size/age. And after reading the book, Lost Daughters of China, I knew that if we adopted it would be from China. I had a hard time pulling the trigger on the whole thing. I was hesitant to do something so "different". Then I was reading an article about adoption and there was a quote from President Gordan B. Hinkley that said, "step out of your comfort zone and watch yourself grow". I knew this was for me. I just was nervous to break out of my comfort zone. I told Allen I wanted to move forward with it and asked how he felt. He said, "I was just waiting for you". And so the process started. Paperwork, interviews, paperwork, fingerprinting, and more paperwork. Then in August I got the call, "you have a daughter". Six weeks later we traveled to China to pick up the most beautiful 10 month old girl and brought her home to her two brothers.

As I think about my three miracles I know that even though I didn't have my children the way I thought I would, it happened exactly the way it should have. It was perfect.